Battles Inside Out

Why do things go wrong exactly where they were supposed to go right? Okay, let us start with how I’m doing. I had no full fledged anxiety attacks for the past two weeks. My content writing internship has started. It is going pretty good. I love the work (except for the part where the senior content writer gives me plagiarized work that needs to be rephrased). I genuinely enjoy learning how to create a variety of content and the work keeps me engaged all day, morning till evening. However, I would be lying in saying that it has not been challenging for me. At times, the fear of failure can have a larger impact than you might want to let it. There have been times in these one and a half weeks where I have felt certain kinds of content were impossible for me to produce, given my academic background in as stagnant a subject as economics. However, I wasn’t ready to let that fear ruin such a beautiful opportunity for me. I kept typing for an hour with my hands trembling and my heart in my th...

Thank you, dearest Jill, for this blog topic. I’ll try my best to resolve your query and maybe, in the process, get to know myself a bit better as well. Whenever I visit my psychiatrist or my therapist, I feel a certain connection gap. Explaining exactly how I felt during a particular attack becomes extremely difficult, if not impossible. On the contrary, while typing or writing something, I feel a strong connection tying me to my content. I can barely move before I finish a particular segment of any write-up. Today, I saw my psychiatrist again. He is a very decent human being and there is no doubt that he’s tremendously good at what he does. However, I cannot ignore the lack of a bond on an emotional level. Many of you might come for me, saying you’re lucky that you have someone to talk to who understands what is going on in your life. Then, really, do they? Because they haven’t walked in your shoes. They can only guide you, help you, but can rarely try and match your emotional freque...