Is Courage Ever Enough?

 

What social media has you believing people look like (left) versus what people really look like (right).

I've struggled with acne since seventh grade. It got better while in college and wasn't this bad even till Feb'20. The occasional breakouts didn't bother me at all. But since March I suddenly started getting painful inflammed cystic acne, pustules and whiteheads all over my face. My cheeks and jaws got the worst (so it's probably hormonal). Most of them take more than a week to heal and leave spots behind along with occasional scarring.

I am on supplements (at least four), topical clindamycin and benzoyl peroxide gels, completed my dosage of oral antibiotics (all of it dermatologist recommended), trying to eat healthy and drink tons of water every day.

But why start a blog suddenly? Cause a few days back I had a mental breakdown so bad that made me realise what unrealistic societal standards can do to a person's self confidence and self worth. If a free app from Playstore can do this to my face, just spare a thought as to how the celebs that we adore get their perfectly polished skin and body. 

Despite knowing all of this, I still feel disgusting when looking at myself in the mirror. I have to remind myself every time that no matter what this reflection says, I am still worthy of love. I tell myself that I will heal and when I am done with all of it, I don't want to be regretful for not being kind enough to myself. 

Posting this (and maybe more) is just a way of self-acceptance. There's still a long way to go. I hope to love myself a little more every single day and I hope that love is irrespective of how many new bumps I wake up with that morning.

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