Don't Let Your Mind Bully You

For many of us who know what it's like to deal with severe stress, anxiety or even depression and suicidal thoughts, it may seem that everything roots from an external trigger. Personally, for me, this has never been the case. For most of the phases in my life when such thoughts were overpowering, it really was my mind trying to put a negative filter onto everything it saw as potentially detrimental to my self-worth. Last few months in these trying times have been no exception.

Oh no, I'm not psychotic! Or maybe I am, so what? We all are to a certain degree. The question is definitely not whether you're crazy, cause your crazy might be someone's normal (you see how problematic that word itself is). The real deal here is how you go about fighting a tormentor with no face, no real existence (as many would say), but inflicting ever so concrete wounds on you again and again.

When my acne worsened, no-one, absolutely no-one (I haven't been out of my house since mid-March) commented adversely on my face. However, this one voice that kept bullying me over and over again was far more torturous than strangers on the street staring until I'm out of sight (when you can tell exactly what they're thinking by the look on their face, it's frustrating, I know). That voice is the monster, the Mind Bully that drags you down and loves it when you suffer, too afraid to fight back.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen all the time. The Mind Bully is not a controller. It has its moments, times you're weak, times of self doubt, failure or loss.

I read an article that says there is a tug of war between you and your Mind Bully and the fight is exhausting, it keeps you from enjoying life in all its happiness and satisfaction. It keeps pulling you into 'the great pit of fear and despair' as long as you're playing its mean game. If you let go, game over!

But is it that easy? If it were so, there wouldn't be a single case of depression in today's world. This is why we need to be aware of our thoughts and know what drives our emotions. Fighting back is a tedious, lengthy process and letting go off the rope is no one day miracle. "Loosen it a little every day, take it slow, don't get frightened and run away, but don't be ignorant of your insides either" I tell myself. I don't just want to let go off the rope, I promise to cut it right off!

Taking care of our mind and mental health is of no less importance than caring for our bodies. Let's not shy away from conversations around mental vulnerability. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

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